Things I Learned in Kona

1. Before leaving your home, always remind your daughter it's not a good idea to go through airport security with a 2-sided fishing knife in your purse. They may think it's a dagger which, apparently, is a federal felony.
2. It takes about 12 hours to circle the Big Island of Hawaii, stopping to admire coastal views, waterfalls, volcanos and tropical flowers.
3. 12-year-old boys can only appreciate coastal views, waterfalls, volcanos and tropical flowers for about 3-4 hours.
4. $11 Mai Tai's can cause a grown man to put little drink umbrellas behind his ears and grown woman to claim that a jacuzzi will melt her skin off.  This is followed by memory loss.
5. If you leave food on the lanai for wild cats, there's a good chance you'll be awakened several times during the night to (a) hungry cats fighting over the food, or (b) full cats getting their groove thing on.  It's difficult to tell the difference just from the sound.
6. It's very cool to have turtles swimming around your feet in ocean.
7. Sitting in your rented mini van, watching youtube videos on you phone while you wait for your child with poor planning skills to complete her SAT test, is not the best use of your precious vacation time in Hawaii.